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Save the Last Dance

1/8/2015

6 Comments

 
Through no fault of hers or mine, I lost my very first best friend of three and a half years at the early age of three and a
half—yes, she had already been my best friend my entire life.  She was three years older than I.  We had lived together, eaten together, shared a bedroom, played together, and I am sure we must have fought together at some point throughout the entire three and a half years I had known her—she was my sister.  My older siblings and I had been removed from our biological home and placed in foster homes.  My sister and I were lucky enough to be placed in the same foster home and, I believe to this day, that gave us a stronger bond of friendship and sisterhood than most other siblings ever have. However, life dictated that in December 1965, our close comradery would cease.  She remembers coming home from school one day and finding me gone.  I wasn’t gone on a short venture to return in a few hours—I was gone forever—I had been adopted by another family.  She remembers “Save the Last Dance for Me” playing on the radio.  She remembers trying to understand and cope with a separation that we were promised would never happen.   Shortly after I was adopted, our foster parents adopted her.

I remember asking about her over the years and my parents telling me that they were certain she was just fine and had been adopted as well.  They truly believed we were only foster sisters—they were never told I had a biological sister in foster care at the same time and place they were visiting me.

The years passed and in the year I turned 20, I decided to try and contact the court to see if I could find this long-lost very first best friend.  It took some time to get a response from the court, and it was not what I wanted to hear--exactly.  The court confirmed that I had a sister, but that I also had several biological siblings!  It was not what I wanted to hear exactly because they could not give me information on my sister as there was no release on file signed by her.  However, through other contact information the court was allowed to provide, I was able to get in touch with my sister after just a few days.


We talked via phone a few times then decided to meet.  When I stepped off the airplane and saw her standing there, it was almost like looking into a full length mirror.  I think her coat may have been a different shade of purple than mine, but other than that, we may as well have been twins.  I will never ever forget that moment.  Since then, we have been in constant contact.   We now live less than an hour away from each other and even work at the same place.   The ending to this story is bittersweet.  Although we live and work close together and still get together, we no longer have the connection we had as children, and I miss that very much.  I feel like a part of my soul was taken away when we were separated.

I have written this for all the other sisters out there who have had the opportunity to grow up together, to be together through the laughter, the tears, the loving and the fighting.  Please don’t take it all for granted—the bond of love between two sisters should be so strong that it can never be broken.  I love my sister with all my heart and maybe someday she and I will have a connection like we once had and be best friends again—who knows, maybe we will end up in a nursing home together!  If we do, I certainly hope she saves the last dance for me!

6 Comments
tom
1/8/2015 03:33:30 am

Very nicely worded Ruth. I have myself wondered why things happened the way they did and what would or could have been. I have no doubt we all turned out better for our paths we were taken down :)

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Ruth link
1/9/2015 07:20:33 am

Thank you, Tom. And I, too, have no doubt about all of us turning out better because life happened.

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Helen McDonald
1/8/2015 03:37:56 am

What a touching story of two sisters. Hope your sister reads this and feels the love you have for her and that she will let the past go and focus on today. I'm sure it was just as hard on you too to lose your sister, but you had to wait till you were older till you could be together again. Thru Gods love and grace he made it possible for you two to be together "How Amazing". Sometimes in a persons life, the scares are to deep to heal on there own, but there is a great physician who can heal them and he can take that childhood pain away and make her life into a brand new day, that physicians is our precious "Jesus". Talk to her again, tell her you love her no matter what and your not going anywhere and that you will always be there for her, but that it's time to close the door to the past, close the door and lock it, yes there will be times when the door starts to open and those memories will come to mind, but when they do, just say thank you "Jesus" for today and for putting two sisters back together. Tell her to lay this hurt at "Jesus" feet, he will take care of it. Sis, don't let the Devil come between you and your sister, I know you are hurting, but you will have the last dance together.

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Linda
1/8/2015 08:24:37 am

Little sister; again you've put your feelings beautifully into words that speak to my heart and many others as well. While I agree our relationship/friendship has not been without it's ups and downs, it is still something that is most important to me. I cannot imagine my life without you in it and I thank God that I don't have to. We are very blessed to have each other. So often siblings who have experienced what we have never have the chance to meet let alone become "friends". In many ways I still feel the connection we had as young girls. We will just have to keep working together to find that "bond of love that can never be broken" that you speak of. I hope I don't have to follow you into a nursing home any time soon but... I'm saving the last dance for you! I love you more than you know little sister!

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Diane link
1/8/2015 10:53:40 am

Your precious story touched my heart. What made it even better was reading the comments and reading your sister's words. I have a hunch that this post will do something to bring the two of you even closer together. I'm so glad you were able to meet your sister. And at your young age... it's pretty amazing that you had such a strong memory of her to carry you all those years. Thanks for sharing your story. :)

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Ruth link
1/9/2015 07:23:37 am

Thank you for reading my blog, Diane, and for your very kind and encouraging words. I enjoy your posts and look forward them each day!

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    I currently live in Michigan with my husband, Donald.  I have three sons and one daughter as well as four grandchildren.  For as long as I can remember I have had a passion for writing.  I give God all the credit for allowing me to share my writings with you.

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