Well, it’s been 40 years since you went to be with Jesus. If I did my math right, that translates to 480 months or 14,600 days or 350,400 hours. You may want to double-check that for me since we both know math was never my strongest subject. Of course, if I could have had my way, math would not have been a subject, period. But no matter how you look at it or translate it—and whether or not my math is correct--it’s been a very long time.
I was just a 17-year old high school girl getting ready to start my senior year when you left. I had my senior picture taken. I managed to pull all A’s and B’s my senior year, thanks to no math classes. I went through the motions of baccalaureate and graduation ceremonies. I applied to colleges. You weren’t there in person, but I know you were there.
I became a college student. The first two years were pretty calm and quiet But the last two years, I really became a college student. Even though I still missed you, I’m glad you weren’t there to witness the last two years. Well, you weren’t there in person, but I know you were there.
Over the next few years I got married, had three beautiful boys and got divorced. Those were some years of major ups and downs, but I am so proud of my boys and I know you would be proud to call them your grandsons. I got remarried, gaining a bonus son and daughter in the package. You already know my bonus son, David. He’s in heaven with you, and I know the two of you are getting along well. Daddy joined you just six weeks after David. That was my toughest year yet. You weren’t here in person, but I know you were here.
Forty years has brought many changes to the world and to me, but it has not altered the love I have for you. I wish I had been wiser at 17, to know how much you really meant to me, to realize how much you did for me, and to understand the true depth of a mother’s love. I pray it doesn’t take my death someday for my children to have this clarity about me.
I miss you. You are not in here person, but I know you are here.
I love you, Mama.